Thanks to Viewers Like You...(pt. 2)

It is now 3:40am, and I have seen American Gangster.

Two things:

1) Yes, I will see it (again) in the theaters if it is still playing in the U.S. when I get back; and

2) Lol to the other viewer at home who thought Firefox would crash...and the quality was spectacular.

I'm not gonna dry snitch and give up the site or the viewer in particular. All I'm gonna say is...

"Danke."

Cheers.

P.S. I still got love for the 'Skins...they're just in time-out for the moment.

Idiosyncrasies #1

What's a good blog without a recurring series?

Since I've arrived in Frankfurt, I've complied a list of interesting differences between American and European (more specifically, German) cultures. I'm sure over the course of my time in Europe I'll come up with more (hence the "#1" for this blog), but as of today, this my list thus far...

• The ground floor and the 1st floor are not the same floor...the 1st floor in Europe is what we would call the second floor. All subsequent floors are also one number less.
• If you want a plastic bag from the grocery store, it's 10 cent Euro
• All taxis in Germany are Mercedes Benzes
• When going up or down, via escalator, in a department store, you don't have to walk all the way around to the other side of the floor to find the next escalator that's going in the same direction. In America, they make you walk all the way around the floor so that there's a possibility your eye will catch some merchandise that you'll purchase. In Europe, they don't play those games.
• When they show Jamster commercials, they list at least 15 songs...and tell you the number code for EACH AND EVERY SONG.
• You have to push a button on the in/outside of the subway train doors for them to open
• While we're on the subject of subway trains, there are no turnstiles in Germany. They just have subway people that come along every once and a ride to check to see if passengers bought their farecards. In my time here, I've taken the train pretty much every day and I've only ran into these people once...in Berlin.
• They put the subway map on the ceiling of the train
• Pedestrian walkways are afforded the same respect as streets for cars...with respect to street signs, traffic signals and maps.
• There is always a yellow light between green and red (i.e. the lights go red-yellow-green as well).
• Everything is closed on Sundays...except for coffee shops and pubs.
• You can go to the supermarket for all of your food/hygiene needs, but why when the butcher, cheese shop, bakery, pharmacy and fruit/vegetable street vendor are all located next door?

I would rack my brain to try and remember some more, but I'll save them for the next installment.

Cheers.

Lost in Translation

So, the planning for this year's Christmas to New Year's "escapade" is finally underway. I'm not going to spoil it for you all, don't worry, but I will say that one of the cities that will be visited is...

*drumroll please...*

Köln, Germany (or as we Americans pronounce and write it..."Cologne").

Yeah, doesn't it just conjure images of rolling hills along the German country-side and local open-air markets with fresh-air tinged with aromatic scents of fresh baked bread and "only found in Germany" spices? Well, truth be told...I can't really tell you one way or the other cause all I know is what I've been told since I got here (cause it wasn't until I got here that people told me that Cologne is a must see before I leave). Truthfully, all I really know is that the city has good shopping and that there's a castle...or two. Dusseldorf is located close-by to the north and I believe that is really the more "traditionally" of the two German city. Anyways, that's beside the point...and if you reeeeeeeally want to know about the city and its history, demographics, coat of arms, etc....then here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cologne%2C_Germany

As the plan goes, Cologne is a one- to two-night stopover city between two other cities (hint: neither of them are located in Germany). As such, I'd like to stay at a nice hotel as sort of an intermission between what will likely be two 4-night hostel stays during two holiday periods (i.e. this will be a much-needed respot between two cramped and funky lodging experiences). And what a resource I have in the people in the office. I mean, these guys not only travel on a whim to international destinations (remember the Alps...?), but also are from the numerous cities/towns found throughout Germany (not to mention they also perform appraisals all throughout Germany). Needless to say, there has to be someone in the office that either has a connect in Cologne, or has a boutique hotel or little-known apartment rental they can suggest. But leave it to Frankfurt Freddie to try to take it to the next level.

Enter Google Translator (http://www.google.com/language_tools?hl=en).

This handy-dandy website has been a savior for all of the office-wide emails in German that I get over the course of any given day. Now, from the translations that I get back (when going German-to-English), I could tell that the translating application was anything but perfect. But I could at least decipher the nouns and verbs of a given sentence and piece together what was trying to be said. So, I thought, this would be the perfect chance for me to compose a little 2 sentence email in German, via the Google translator. The way I figured it, this would be my little "cute" way of showing the office I was "trying." I knew there would inevitably be errors in the German translation, but in the same way I was able to piece together the broken English spit out by the Google translator, I surmised they'd be able to do the same...if not better. So I wrote my message into the Google translator text box...

"Everyone,

I am planning a trip to Köln for a day or two at the end of December. Might anyone be able to recommend any places to stay during my visit?

Thanks."

and got back...

"Jeder,

Ich plane eine Reise nach Köln für einen Tag oder zwei am Ende des Dezember. Könnte jeder in der Lage, den alle Plätze, zum während meines Besuchs?

Danke."

No more than about 2 minutes after sending the message, I began to hear semblances of giggles from across the room. Then I heard the low-voiced conversings of people in the hallway. About 30 seconds later I heard the first audible lol. Yeah...it wasn't good. I got an email shortly thereafter, "what did you say?" Then I got a couple more sarcastic, "love the German ;-)"'s. To be sure (so the viewers at home know), no one in the office was mad or upset or offended at my email. They just honestly did not know what I was asking. All they knew was that it had something to do with Cologne. The funniest, yet potentially scary, interpretation was when one girl told me that what it might have sounded like I was asking was if anyone in the office was willing to stay with me if I went to Cologne. Yeah, just what I need in my life--to make things any more awkward for the American black guy in the office.

After I told a few people in the immediate vicinity that I used Google Translator, it was brought to my attention that the application does well with word-to-word translations, but fails miserably when it comes to grammar. Although it makes sense, it still came as a surprise because some of Google Translator's English sentences--from my German-to-English translation entries--were grammatically acceptable (at least to the point where I could put together the semblance of the German author's original intent). Apparently, all translations are not created equal...and Google still has quite a way to go before they can consider themselves "fluent" in German.

Once the dust began to settle, I sent a reply to everyone with the American equivalent of what I meant to say and even got a couple helpful responses...I still don't know where I'm going to stay though. Nevertheless, looking to the positive of the situation, it provided a laugh for everyone in the office...and a lesson for me, albeit via public embarrassment...

email in English.

Cheers.

Du Hast Den Schönsten Arsch Der Welt

Alex C. feat. Y-Ass



They play this song all the time out here on Jamster commercials and late night on this MTV-equivalent channel called VAVA.

The literal translation is "You Have the Most Beautiful Ass The World"

lol...no homo

Cheers.

menufaktur

Point blank period, the Frankfurt office is the bizomb!

Aside from having arguably the most beautiful office across the entire company--equipped with 2 espresso machines and a balcony overlooking the Main River--the office is big on teamwork and team building. As if the Monday morning status meetings (where they go down a list of all the outstanding appraisals and where they are in terms of being completed), the Friday afternoon "knowledge sessions" (where someone in valuation takes the lead to present a topic relevant to the market) or the office shower (where employees can shower after being involved in strenuous activity before or during work) weren't enough; I get word Monday that there was going to be a wine tasting of sorts after work on Tuesday. Turns out, it was a full on 4-course meal with numerous glasses of wine (white and red) that WE were going to play the major role in preparing.

Look...its almost 1am as I start to write this and I have the SERIOUS itis. I'm going to save this as a draft and come back tomorrow and write enough (with pictures) to account for today's (Tuesday's) and tomorrow's (Wednesday's) blog. But right now, I have to get to schlafen ("sleeping" in German).

[Next day, approx. 9:15pm] All right, a bunch of us from work left together to take the U-bahn (U line subway train) to the Huenstrasse station. Oddly enough, this is the exact stop I live at on Berger Strasse, so when everyone else was clueless as to which way to head, I--the guest in their town--was telling everyone where to go. Thanks to my GPS-enabled brain, all I had to do was type the address of "menufaktur" (the place of the event) into Google Earth, look at the map for about 30 seconds, and I knew exactly where to go. The only trouble we had was locating the address (on the street, that is) because, unlike all the other storefronts, the number wasn't visible from the street. In fact, the darn place wasn't visible from the street. We ended up having to walk through this passageway and into what looked like the ground-floor recreation room of an apartment building. However, once inside we were greeted with...

Well...we were also greeted with champagne...and later white wine...and later red wine...and then again white wine. And please, make no mistake, we're talking around two or three glasses of each over the course of about 5 hours. So please, viewers at home, just take for granted that the vino was flowing in the background of this entire episode. Mind you, nothing crazy happened, it just served to amplify what was already a dazzlingly social (and informative) evening.

Once the majority of us had arrived (there were about 25 to 30 of us in total), the chef began to explain (in German) the proper technique for how we were to cut the chickens (shown on the middle of the table in the above picture). First the leg and thighs, then the wings, then the breasts (along the breast-plate seam). As for the rest of the chicken, we were to take the kitchen shears (the horror-flick style scissors that you have in your kitchen that you've probably used to cut a paper or two in your lifetime) and cut up the bones and gizzards to use for a broth. Then he went over to the zucchinis and showed us how he wanted them to be cut for a chutney of sorts we were also going to be making...

He then said something in German and pointed to the dessert area of the table. Shortly thereafter, everyone got to moving to whichever section they fancied. At the time I was conversing with Verena (one of the 10 or so August-to-February interns at the office). Since she said she'd translate what the chef was saying into English and we were right by the chickens, we got to cutting the chickens. By my 3rd chicken, the rest of the chickens were done and Verena had moved on to...

Now, here's the 64 million euro question...What fruit/vegetable is this? If you said, "pumpkin," then you would be in agreeance with Verena, the guy next to us, the chef and just about everyone in there...except for me. Now look, I've seen that fruit/vegetable wrapped up at Safeway during these Fall months and it is not pumpkin. Now, I don't know what its called, but its not pumpkin...and that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Moving along, after peeling this mystery fruit/vegetable and chopping it up into cubes about the size of the tuna on the skewers that Martin (the head of valuation in Frankfurt) was assembling next to us...

I reloaded (i.e. filled up my glass). However, when I turned around to rejoin the action, there must have been about 8 to 10 additional cooking tasks that had started behind my back. It was at this time I figured it was time to socialize. In doing so, I found myself...

• making ravioli FROM SCRATCH. We were taking FRESH dough, cutting circles out of it, placing a small amount of filling in the center (one of us had made the filling, mind you, at some point while I was cutting mystery fruit/vegetable), dabbing the edges with a wet brush and sealing a ravioli pocket with the filling on the inside...

• making gnocci FROM SCRATCH. We were taking some of the mashed potato (that one of us had made at some point while I was cutting mystery fruit/vegetable), rolling it into a tiny ball in our hand, putting it on the back of a fork, depressing a little crevice in the middle and rolling it off the edge of the fork to create the gnocci-shape...

The guy sticking his tongue out is Pascal. He sits right across from me at the office. We'll get to him later...if not in another blog. Also, sorry the actual gnocci is only in a small part of the picture, but...that's how "nice" of night it was.

• and, of course...finger-fighting for cake/pastry batter...
  

It's nice to know that half-way across the globe, some things remain the same.

I also played vouyer (all while "trinken"--German for "drinking") to several other tasks going on around the kitchen.


The top picture contained the ingredients were were going to use in our dessert (the 4th course). As for the bottom picture, the flat pan with the creamish color was used to "bathe" the tuna skewers before pan-searing them. The smaller pots (with the greenish contents) were used to stew the chickens.

I also took some time to eat, without a doubt, the BEST olives I've ever tasted in my life. You know how most olives have that tart saltines to them. Well these were completely devoid of that. They actually tasted like...olive oil. I was eating these by the 4's after he broke them out. FYI...we ended up adding these to the chicken just prior to plating that course (I believe it was the 3rd course).

Well, it was around the time our appetites had been teased to the point of seriousness...seriously...that we sat down to eat. Our first course were the tuna skewers with guacamole and that zucchini/cous-cous chutney. The second course was the ravioli. The third course was the chicken (with olives), pan-fried (but not breaded) chicken breasts and gnocci. The final course (dessert) was this...

(fat-free ice cream (not shown) with fluff pastry and orange ragout)

I know I have a tendency to, seemingly, be anti-climactic (i.e. going though all this trouble explaining what we were doing and then having only a small paragraph explaining the actual finished dishes and only one actual picture of the dishes), but, as with the Cut & Paste entry, the real beauty of this was in the process. Not only did I get to talk, informally, with almost everyone in the office that, until this day, I had only greeted on the first day during my whirlwind tour through the office, but I also got to show everyone my "casual" self. Moreover, I also found out about some things, like...

• how when the weather's cold enough during the winter, they just, on a whim, plan a weekend ski trip to the Alps;
• how a couple people have had their BEST skiing on New Year's dawn--if you get up early and catch the first lift onto the slopes, they are fresh and empty because everyone is drunk from the night before;
• how the white wine we were drinking was from a German vinter and was the 2005 or 2006 gold medal winner from a world-renowned competition in France (needless to say, I ordered 6 bottles);
• Martin, the head of Frankfurt valuation, used to play international league basketball (he can dribble 4 basketballs at once). Now, when he's not killing the game in valuation, he enjoys windsurfing...and soon he is going to some islands, near to the Canary Islands, where the waves reach up to like...a lot of 'meters' high
• one of the interns is a jazz saxophonist
• and so on...(I won't bore you any longer).

I said all this to say...and I'mma close the blog on this...that all of this serves to bring the valuation team closer. Now, the effectiveness of such an event in America is questionable because...we don't work in teams. Sure, we help each other with comps and if we've done a property in the area, we'll guide them in the right direction (sending over our report, passing along contact info of people that might be helpful, etc.), but that's about it; because we're only paid to the extent of the reports WE'VE actually written (i.e. we only get a bonus if our production has exceeded the amount we've been paid). Unlike America, in Germany, everyone's production is pooled together. And the extent to which the OFFICE has exceeded its expenses (rent on the office, salaries, overhead, etc.) is the amount to which all of the valuers are paid as a bonus.

You be the judge of which you think is better. I'm of the personal opinion that when you have people who have worked in the business for a number of years and have developed an expertise in a given property type or area (replete with local contacts and comps), the "DC" set-up is more favorable. However, when you have an office as young as the Frankfurt office, the "German" set-up works better because everyone's on the same level and works together to make everyone better (and inevitably more money). Of course another benefit is that such a set up fosters these "team building" events. Although its impossible to quantify their 'fiscal' effectiveness (in a cost-benefit sort of fashion), its hard to believe that after such a fun and social event, productivity isn't positively affected.


Cheers.

Taking Up Space...?

I'm in a bit of a pickle.

On one hand, I'd like to give to you all a daily blog detailing my experiences here in Europe. I want to do this so I can develop a sort of regular schedule with viewers like you. I also want to do it for myself because I worry that my procrastination/laziness will somehow find a way to justify not writing a blog "right now" each and every time I log onto blogger to check my comments.

On the other hand, I don't want this to become a diary of sorts where I'm just writing for the sake of "making sure I posted something today." Yet, here I am...

Take today for example. Of note,

• I think the honeymoon period is over for "the exchange guy from DC" and they're just going to go it as "business as usual" around me from here on out. That means, among other things, conducting all meetings in their native German. What's funny is that I don't mind and that I honestly am picking up more semblances of German words than I did a week ago. I'm just wondering how many times I can ask them how to say phrases that I've asked them at least 5 times prior before they get irritated. I'm bad with names...sorry.
• I stapled my thumb...and everyone in a 3-person radius laughed while blood trickled out.
• Today's weather was like the reverse of the weather all last week...it was sunny during the morning and overcast in the afternoon. Luckily, I had my druthers about me and went to the European Central Bank to take pictures...

Well, maybe not of the bank, but of the "superstar" Euro in front of the building (I have a bunch of others from where those came from).

• I'm beginning to think people in the office think it's odd (as in, not good) that I drink at least 3 double shot espressos a day. Yes, my job has made me into a bit of a coff-e-holic. But really, coffee is just the by product. At home, I go to Starbucks just as much to get a "fresh-air" break from the office as I do for the caffeine. Over here...WE HAVE AN ESPRESSO MACHINE DAMMIT! This is the type of thing you only hear about from a friend of a friend's job or see on TV somewhere in some rich dude's house. So needless to say, I'm taking advantage. Furthermore, I'm cised that I conquered the machine, with all its bells and whistles and spouts, and can make a Starbucks-grade espresso. Matter fact, that's going to be a future blog..."Frankfurt Freddie Teaches How to Make a 'Proper' Espresso."
• Since numbers are universal and I have a pretty good handle on ARGUS (our financial modeling software), I think that's how they're going to incorporate me into assignments. Case in point, they have a portfolio of 30-some-odd buildings that they need to do update reports for. In this case, they'll basically get the rent rolls for each of these buildings and have me update the last year's ARGUS files. Not saying each assignment will be like this, but I could see them using me in that fashion. They'll probably also have me look over some of their English-written reports and proofread. We'll see.
• I finally made the shrimp scampi I had been procrastinating on making since the middle of last week. It came out pretty good I guess and I have some left overs.
• Finally, the washing machine...

I don't know what the difference between the sides are and some of these words don't come up in the English-to-German translators I've checked. Furthermore, the washing machine has a dial with each of the above letters at different points on the dial. You basically turn the dial to the point where the letter you want is aligned with the "start" position (at 12 o'clock) and then pull the dial out to start the cycle. What I don't get is that because the dial turns in a clockwise fashion once you start the cycle, how is any letter different from the other seeing that say 'F' will hit every position that 'G' is going to hit...just a few minutes earlier (because there are other markings around the dial that signify at what point in the cycle your load is at). FYI...my clothes from yesterday dried fine...albeit without fabric softener.

And there you go. I don't know, maybe some of ya'll take joy from the monotony I just explained...but I feel like ya'll deserve better.

One last thing. It's official...I can't remember the last time I went to bed before midnight.

Cheers.

Have You All Seen This...?!

Yeah I know its a bit of a cop-out of a blog...part 2

And yeah I know these are straight jacks from illseed's rumors section on allhiphop.com

But the fact of the matter is that I've seen the MTV EMA's (European Music Awards) about 3 times today already and every time I see this, I get pangs of Brittney in Vegas.

Kids...don't do drugs. And if you decide to "trink" (German for "drink")...heavily, make sure you're not about to operate heavy machinery or give a powerpoint presentation (i.e. perform).

Cheers.

My Last Weekend in Frankfurt

I'm sorry ya'll. This weekend started with such promise, and devolved into a laze-fest. Bascially, I've spent the greater portion of this weekend drinking (apfelwein, fine German beers and the cheapest white wine I can find at the Rewe), resting (i.e. napping disguised as zoning out in front my computer) and watching the EMA's (the only thing on TV that's in English) and the DVD's (that don't play on American DVD players mind you) I purchased from Saturn (Ocean's 11 and Heat).

Of note...

• With respect to the beast-mode to which my face was set, I chose option #3--I found a barber in Frankfurt to bring my head and face into presentable condition. The funny thing is that it was easier for me to just go out on the street and ask the first black person where I could go to cut my hair, than try to search on the internet for black barbers in Germany. I thought I would have had to go to Hanau or Weisbaden (where the nearest American bases to Frankfurt are located), but there was actually a place by Frankfurt Hauptbahnhof ("Main Railway Station"). Interestingly, the barber shop was located in the back of one of those black hair-care products stores. And I mean this was a barber shop for men...not a hair salon for men and women. It was run by Eritreans (find that on the map).
• I found a store that carries the infamous limited edition, "Made in England," New Balance 1500's (i.e. the New Balances I painstakingly found in America and brought over here to wear...only to have them scuffed up in London the night of the Rugby World Cup). They didn't have my color, but I think they might be able to order them. We'll see.
• I finally have semi-overcome my paranoia of the washing machine and have started the first load of my clothes (not the landlord's towels). I said "semi-overcome" because I still haven't finished this load yet (still have another like 3 hours to go) and the water level isn't coming up to the height that the landlord said it should when he came over and washed the towel load last week. What's more, I have the detergent, but don't have the scooper that you use to properly measure the amount of detergent you need. I used 3 big scoops from one of the big wooden spoons from the kitchen drawer, but I don't think it was enough. We'll see how it turns out (don't forget, I don't have a dryer, and I don't think the hanger-contraption will hold this entire load...much less the two others I have to go).

That's about it man. Nothing much to tell really. But I guess that's what happens when Frankfurt Freddie stays in town for the weekend. Next weekend will be better...I promise.

Cheers.

Today's Blog has been Postponed to Present the Following...

I know I said this blog is supposed to be strictly Frankfurt...but some things just take precedence.

All I can say is...

Wow.

Watch kid in the front crank dat robocop...lol.

Cheers.

To Shave or Not to Shave...?

Alright. I already done blew out the adapter for one of my electric clippers messing around with this 230 volt outlet and I'll be damned if the better of the two clippers suffers the same fate. On the other hand, your boy is running around Germany straight scraggamuffin-style.

I have a converter that supposedly takes between 220 and 240 volts (the outlets here in Germany output 230 volts) and outputs between 100 and 120 volts (what I theoretically need seeing that my clippers take 120 volts). But I bought this same converter when I first came to Germany so I could charge my camera and computer...and blew it out. The good thing was that Saturn (the "Best Buy"-type electronics store where I bought the converter) gave me a refund for the blown adapter, even though I think it might have been my fault because upon further investigation both chargers can take between 100 and 240 volts (i.e. all I really needed was an American-to-German outlet adapter...not a converter). I'm not sure if this had anything to do with why the converter blew out, but I don't want to take that chance again given the possibility it could happen mid-shave. So therein lies the problem.

If I shave with the clippers, I run the risk of not only blowing out the converter and/or clippers, but also sporting a half-done goatee/mustache combo. But using the clippers is the only way I can manually keep my mustache and goatee.

If I go old fashioned and use shaving cream and a razor, I run the risk of breaking out because the razor is unforgiving to ingrown facial hair, of which at this stage I have quite a lot. Furthermore, there's no way I can confidently shape up my goatee and mustache with a razor...so both would have to go, thereby reducing my appearance to that of a 16-year old. On the other hand, this wolf-monster of a mask that's taking over my face will have been taken care of for sure.

If I wait until I get my hair cut (i.e. sometime this weekend), I'll be able to have the barber handle it. But in a foreign country, if dude doesn't do my hair justice, then I can't expect for my facial hair shape-up to be much different. Furthermore, I'm only postponing the inevitable because the problem will no doubt crop up again...only next time before a trip to the barbershop is warranted. And it isn't like the barber is nearby. Supposedly, the only barbers qualified to handle black-people's hair are located around the outskirts of Frankfurt near the American bases (either Hanau or Weisbaden).

Pop quiz hot shot...what would you do?

*waits for Josh to leave some smart comment saying I should do something other than one of the above options*

Cheers.