On the real, if it wasn't for Mrs. Pearl Montgomery, you all still wouldn't have heard from me since last Wednesday.
Up until last Wednesday, I had been accessing the internet via my landlord's (who lives right above me) wireless internet connection. Well, last Thursday, he left for the holidays, and turned everything in his apartment off...including the wireless connection. I didn't find this out until last Thursday evening, when I was fully geared up to bang out one or more blogs for your viewing pleasure (namely the Lisboa blogs).
The next day, I went to the office and found out that in addition to getting a free car, gas, cell phone, laptop, and sparkling water, they also get a free UMTS card from T-mobile. For those that sort of know what it is, but don't know it by name (i.e. me prior to last Friday), a UMTS card is basically a card-like device that goes into the side of your laptop that allows you to access the internet from anywhere. It's that metallic/plastic device that, after being inserted into the laptop, still sticks out your computer and will have some wireless carrier emblazoned on the part that protrudes. Dammit...do a google images search on "UMTS card" and you'll see what I mean (where's a camera when you need one?!).] Technologically speaking, its basically a cell phone without the keypad (the device only works with a valid SIM card--just like a cell phone).
Unfortunately at our company, 1) they are configured to each person's computer (i.e. I can't borrow one, much in the same way I did the company car for Heidelberg), and 2) they are very expensive.
Well, I wasn't about to be without internet without putting up a fight, so I took Saturday out to do some field research (have you stopped and thought recently about how we ever got around without the internet and cell phones?! Scary isn't it?) Well, I found out there are only 2 carriers that actually sell these UMTS cards--T-Mobile and Vodafone. No matter what carrier you use, you have to pay the upfront cost of the hardware (typically between one and two hundred Euros). But it is from there they differ
Up until last Wednesday, I had been accessing the internet via my landlord's (who lives right above me) wireless internet connection. Well, last Thursday, he left for the holidays, and turned everything in his apartment off...including the wireless connection. I didn't find this out until last Thursday evening, when I was fully geared up to bang out one or more blogs for your viewing pleasure (namely the Lisboa blogs).
The next day, I went to the office and found out that in addition to getting a free car, gas, cell phone, laptop, and sparkling water, they also get a free UMTS card from T-mobile. For those that sort of know what it is, but don't know it by name (i.e. me prior to last Friday), a UMTS card is basically a card-like device that goes into the side of your laptop that allows you to access the internet from anywhere. It's that metallic/plastic device that, after being inserted into the laptop, still sticks out your computer and will have some wireless carrier emblazoned on the part that protrudes. Dammit...do a google images search on "UMTS card" and you'll see what I mean (where's a camera when you need one?!).] Technologically speaking, its basically a cell phone without the keypad (the device only works with a valid SIM card--just like a cell phone).
Unfortunately at our company, 1) they are configured to each person's computer (i.e. I can't borrow one, much in the same way I did the company car for Heidelberg), and 2) they are very expensive.
Well, I wasn't about to be without internet without putting up a fight, so I took Saturday out to do some field research (have you stopped and thought recently about how we ever got around without the internet and cell phones?! Scary isn't it?) Well, I found out there are only 2 carriers that actually sell these UMTS cards--T-Mobile and Vodafone. No matter what carrier you use, you have to pay the upfront cost of the hardware (typically between one and two hundred Euros). But it is from there they differ
- T-Mobile (the provider my company uses) - There is no pre-paid option (i.e. no contract) and the contract length is 2 years. And you only pay by the minute when you're in a t-mobile hot spot (you get like either a certain amount of minutes to use a month or a large amount (like 10,000 or so) for the duration of your contract). When you're not in a t-mobile hot-spot, you pay by the amount of bytes you use. Don't ask me how they compute it, all I know is that in the end its not a good deal :td
- Vodafone - Here they have both pre-paid and contract options, but the UMTS card for the pre-paid for some reason is different from the UMTS card for the contract and (surprise, surprise), the pre-paid UMTS card doesn't fit Macs. The contract option is also for two years, but you pay by the minute.
Needless to say, I wasn't trying to do either of these. Now, I don't exactly what it was that made me walk into Saturn (the Best Buy equivalent store located on my block), but it wasn't long after I walked in that I saw something that looked like a special on UMTS cards hanging from the ceiling. I asked the first available clerk if he "spreckenzied" english and then what he could tell me about the UMTS cards they offered at the store. What he told me next made my heart skip a beat.
There was a "Try and Buy" Christmas special going on for UMTS cards. You pay 49 Euro upfront for the Vodaphone UMTS card (the one that's compatible with Macs) and 5 Euros a month for the next 2 months...unlimited minutes and usage. If you so desire, after the two month trial period, you can terminate...no strings attached (and you get to keep the hardware (you return the SIM card though)). Once up, you'll have access to the internet anywhere in Germany...and most if not all of the big cities operate on the superfast 3G networks, so you'll be on the internet like its a broadband connection.
"Sounds like good deal" :tu "So what do you need from me?"
"Passport"
"Check"
"German Bank Account"
"Uhhh...I have a bank account, but its with an American bank. Does it have to be a German Bank?"
"Uhh...well I've never tried it before. What happens is when we get all the information, we send it to the verification department and they have the final say. I can give it a shot, though I doubt it would be a problem since its only 10 Euros [the 5 Euros per month x 2 months]"
"OK, what's the last thing you need?"
"Proof of residence. All you need is some mail with your name and address on it."
It was at that point my heart sank. The only person that had sent me mail was Mom. And since all the package contained was deodorant, I threw the empty package (proof of residence and all) away. Still, I frantically searched the house, after leaving Saturn, to no avail. Dejected I left the flat, thinking of excuses/ways around I could possibly use to get the UMTS card. It was at that point I passed by the mailbox.
Even though I hadn't checked my mail in probably a couple weeks or so, there was no chance that there was any mail in there for me. And not because I didn't think anyone might surprise me, its just that I could only recall one, maybe two, people that had my actual home mailing address. Furthermore, considering that you have to write this foreign "c/o" name on my address in order for me to get it AND ever since December my end date at this flat has been up in the air, I've just been telling those interested in sending me something to send it to my work address.
Still, you never know.
I put the key in, turned the lock, and...
Grandma's letter fell out...followed by me.
I was yelling, jumping, and screaming in the most stereo-typic of American ebonic glory for all of Berger Strasse to witness. And I didn't care. Because of all the people in the world, the one who saved the day was my Grandmother...the one who has ALWAYS been there for me in my best, my worst and when I needed--be it on my birthday, through my depressed episodes, during my euphoric highs, and the list goes on. Add this as its latest entry...when there was no other way for me legitimately get online. It may sound a bit over the top, but you have no idea how much of a lifeline the internet becomes when you go overseas.
To wrap up the story, I rushed back over to Saturn (after reading Grandma's letter...twice) and was back online by the evening.
Man, I'm finna call Grandma right now.
Cheers.
There was a "Try and Buy" Christmas special going on for UMTS cards. You pay 49 Euro upfront for the Vodaphone UMTS card (the one that's compatible with Macs) and 5 Euros a month for the next 2 months...unlimited minutes and usage. If you so desire, after the two month trial period, you can terminate...no strings attached (and you get to keep the hardware (you return the SIM card though)). Once up, you'll have access to the internet anywhere in Germany...and most if not all of the big cities operate on the superfast 3G networks, so you'll be on the internet like its a broadband connection.
"Sounds like good deal" :tu "So what do you need from me?"
"Passport"
"Check"
"German Bank Account"
"Uhhh...I have a bank account, but its with an American bank. Does it have to be a German Bank?"
"Uhh...well I've never tried it before. What happens is when we get all the information, we send it to the verification department and they have the final say. I can give it a shot, though I doubt it would be a problem since its only 10 Euros [the 5 Euros per month x 2 months]"
"OK, what's the last thing you need?"
"Proof of residence. All you need is some mail with your name and address on it."
It was at that point my heart sank. The only person that had sent me mail was Mom. And since all the package contained was deodorant, I threw the empty package (proof of residence and all) away. Still, I frantically searched the house, after leaving Saturn, to no avail. Dejected I left the flat, thinking of excuses/ways around I could possibly use to get the UMTS card. It was at that point I passed by the mailbox.
Even though I hadn't checked my mail in probably a couple weeks or so, there was no chance that there was any mail in there for me. And not because I didn't think anyone might surprise me, its just that I could only recall one, maybe two, people that had my actual home mailing address. Furthermore, considering that you have to write this foreign "c/o" name on my address in order for me to get it AND ever since December my end date at this flat has been up in the air, I've just been telling those interested in sending me something to send it to my work address.
Still, you never know.
I put the key in, turned the lock, and...
Grandma's letter fell out...followed by me.
I was yelling, jumping, and screaming in the most stereo-typic of American ebonic glory for all of Berger Strasse to witness. And I didn't care. Because of all the people in the world, the one who saved the day was my Grandmother...the one who has ALWAYS been there for me in my best, my worst and when I needed--be it on my birthday, through my depressed episodes, during my euphoric highs, and the list goes on. Add this as its latest entry...when there was no other way for me legitimately get online. It may sound a bit over the top, but you have no idea how much of a lifeline the internet becomes when you go overseas.
To wrap up the story, I rushed back over to Saturn (after reading Grandma's letter...twice) and was back online by the evening.
Man, I'm finna call Grandma right now.
Cheers.
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5 comments:
Thank you, Mrs. Pearl Montgomery.
Although, I did try to reach out via email. Hadn't heard from you in so long, I was about to put a missing person alert on you.
**thinking: Honestly, I was goin through blog withdrawal**
Good blog. Thanks for the post card. I'm almost willing to admit that you're almost as international as myself. By the way, did I mention that I'm going to Afghanistan in a few months? Hooray Army!
Fred,
Great blog. Truly heartwarming. Glad you're back on line again. The gold star goes to my mom Pearl Tharp Montgomery!
Love,
Debra (Mom)
Merry Christmas!!!
Hey Freddie,
dass ist mit Abstand der coolste Blog, mit den geilsten Bildern aus Frankfurt, den ich seit langem gesehen habe. Vor allem die Bilder wie du mit der U4 unterwegs bist. Einfach genial gemacht. Großes Lob aus dem Baumweg / Nordend.
Sundancer10000
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