Reflections on Tipping (Paris #1)

I’m sure many of the commenters/viewers of this blog are familiar with my friend Cynthia. For those that aren’t, I went to high school with Cynthia and she showed an uncanny talent and propensity for the arts all throughout. Truthfully, I personally believe that Cynthia will be an established actress (via TV or film) within the next 5 to 10 years. But that’s besides the point…

Cynthia, following high school, went to and graduated from NYU and, following that, was a server at many an establishments in NYC. During my many visits to NY (namely during my extended stay internships), I would chop it up with Cynthia. And whenever we went out to lunch and/or dinner, we would inevitably be presented with the bill, at which time we would almost always engage in a debate about tipping.

She, deriving a sizable portion of her income from the service industry, would vehemently take the stance that you should tip 20% unless the waiter/waitress did something deplorable. I would always take the position there are two players (not one) involved with her pay—the consumer AND the employer. “Don’t try to put it on me that your boss doesn’t pay you enough. If he’d pay you more and not try to pass the cost onto me, you wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not I tip,” I’d say. Furthermore, I always felt why should I have to pay extra for a waiter or waitress doing their job. Well, it wasn’t until Paris that I realized that “average” service in America is “good” service in Paris.

The following is a list of things you probably take for granted at restaurants in the U.S. that are either nonexistent or they just don’t care to implement in Paris:

• Hosts. Christmas night, Kadija and I went out to a restaurant that was suggested by the desk clerk at the Royal Hotel (the hotel where we were staying). After taking a gander at the menu outside, we decided to give it a try. As expected, we weren’t the only ones, as the restaurant was fully packed and there was a small crowd of people waiting just inside the door in what would be called the “host area.” I say, “what would be called” because there was no host. Now, I’m not sure if this was because they never have a host or felt that because they were packed, “what do we need a host for?!” But it wasn’t until the patrons at a couple of tables vacated that the waitress bussing those tables came to the “host” area looking to seat the next people (good thing for us one of the tables was a table for two and Kadija and I were the only couple that were waiting for a table). And this wasn’t the only place. While at many other places we got seated probably just as quickly by the nearest waiter as we would have were there a host, there was nevertheless no identifiable “host” behind a podium.

• Receiving menus and/or drinks in a reasonable time frame (if at all). After checking into the hotel our first day in Paris, we walked around the immediate area (i.e. the Champs-Elysees—pronounced “Shauns Eleesay”…or as I like to say “the Chandra Leevy”) and happened upon what seemed to be a somewhat upscale African restaurant (no I don’t know the region but if I had to guess…Moroccan, maybe?). We went inside and after asking the nearest waiter where to sit we were sat in the non-smoking section. I could go through the theatrics right here but it took a good 10 minutes for us to receive menus (after we non-verbally gestured to the guy who sat us who then notified our waiter that we didn’t have menus). After another 10 minutes or so, he came back to take our drink orders. Not sure if he would come back in a timely fashion to take our meal orders, we hastily ordered both our drinks and meals. After another 20 minutes, we said we’d give the guy til 6pm to come back with our drinks (which was around 5 minutes from then); and mind you, we ordered beers, not drinks that were to be served with meals. At 6:01pm we got up and left. As we left, dude looked over at me and had this puzzled look on his face (which was probably the first time since leaving the table that he gave any indication of our existence). I then replied, “Don’t worry about it cuu” (as FAMU-ish as possible ;-). Now, I don’t know if dude was having a bad day, lazy, didn’t like us cause we were Americans (much less black Americans…and yes, he was black too), or any other excuse…the bottom line was that the service was absolutely deplorable.

• Stopping by after the meal was delivered to make sure everything’s OK. This never happened…but let your glass be half full with the sparkling water you purchased and they’ll promptly empty the rest of the sparkling water bottle into your glass and ask if you want another (I hate it when they do this in the States…much less overseas)

• Ordering something that is not to your liking, ordering another dish and not having to pay for both. All I can really expound upon regarding this was at the restaurant we went to after the African restaurant fiasco, Kadija ordered this red wine that was brought to her chilled. What the waiter told us later was that this particular wine is supposed to be served chilled. Still, she had a taste for red wine at room temperature, so she ordered another. When the bill came, we were charged for both. But over at Kadija’s blog, she has a much more elaborate explanation of the horrors of French service. You can read about it here: http://muffinmoments.blogspot.com/2007/12/paris-quickie-1-service.html.

I said all this to highlight the beginnings of a change in my viewpoint on tipping. You see, overseas (not just in France), tipping is not required. However, what this inadvertently does is not give the waiter/waitress any motivation to provide good service. Before leaving for Europe, I thought I understood this and was cool with it (thinking that “good” service entailed things like a smile or recommending dishes from the menu...actually bringing the menus and drinks in a timely fashion I felt to be required of the job). But after visiting France, where the things listed above were absent and I was left with no recourse but to either get up and leave or ask for the manager (which according to Kadija’s blog doesn’t work either…and on top of that you’re speaking in English—a language spited by many of the French), tipping might actual provide a useful purpose...to keep the waiter/waitress courteously on their job. Additionally, it also (theoretically) keeps prices lower as the manager doesn’t have to pay the servers as much.

Cheers.

Sidebar: Mainly attributable to the guilt trip Cynthia has bestowed upon me, I have almost always tipped between 15 and 20 percent when in the U.S. And I’d say since being in Europe, around 60 percent of the time I have stayed true to tipping that much (even though I don’t have to).