Man in the Mirror

"...when you can look in the mirror like, 'There I am' and/

still not see, what you've become/" - Jay-Z, "Lost Ones", 1st verse

I think it was a movie. I once heard someone say something to the effect of 'Today was the first time I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize the person staring back at me." Something like that happened last night. I don't know, maybe it was cause it was the first time in a while I was clean-shaven (mustache and all). It was just strange. I always remembered looking younger when I was clean-shaven, but looking in the mirror this particular time, I saw a person that looked older than before. Like I said, maybe cause I just haven't seen myself without a mustache in a while.

But there was something else. I kept saying to myself, 'That person is 30." And yes, I know, the last few blogs make it sound like I'm having some sort of crisis over here, but that's not true at all, it's just fresh on my mind right now (I'm not even a week in yet, you know). Anyways, I don't think I've ever 'grown up' in terms of how I think about the man in the mirror. Straight up, I still see the Fred from Newport or the Fred from Young Hall. I'm sure its how parents of famous people look at their kids--how you see them goes beyond what you physically see...you see 'that person' cause you have a deeper understanding of who the person in that body is.

I'm in no way saying that I haven't matured, I'm just saying its like showering. Like looking at yourself in the mirror, its the one thing you've pretty much done in solitude your whole life, so the process in which you shower (or see yourself in the mirror) hasn't really changed since you were young. It's just wild when you realize that that person staring back has been on this earth for 30 years and, while by no means is old, is still no longer young. So you try to see yourself as an 'older' person, and seeing myself without a mustache, I got a brief glimpse.

I'm sorry if this sounds confusing, I just wanted to document it.

Cheers.