Lost in Translation

So, the planning for this year's Christmas to New Year's "escapade" is finally underway. I'm not going to spoil it for you all, don't worry, but I will say that one of the cities that will be visited is...

*drumroll please...*

Köln, Germany (or as we Americans pronounce and write it..."Cologne").

Yeah, doesn't it just conjure images of rolling hills along the German country-side and local open-air markets with fresh-air tinged with aromatic scents of fresh baked bread and "only found in Germany" spices? Well, truth be told...I can't really tell you one way or the other cause all I know is what I've been told since I got here (cause it wasn't until I got here that people told me that Cologne is a must see before I leave). Truthfully, all I really know is that the city has good shopping and that there's a castle...or two. Dusseldorf is located close-by to the north and I believe that is really the more "traditionally" of the two German city. Anyways, that's beside the point...and if you reeeeeeeally want to know about the city and its history, demographics, coat of arms, etc....then here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cologne%2C_Germany

As the plan goes, Cologne is a one- to two-night stopover city between two other cities (hint: neither of them are located in Germany). As such, I'd like to stay at a nice hotel as sort of an intermission between what will likely be two 4-night hostel stays during two holiday periods (i.e. this will be a much-needed respot between two cramped and funky lodging experiences). And what a resource I have in the people in the office. I mean, these guys not only travel on a whim to international destinations (remember the Alps...?), but also are from the numerous cities/towns found throughout Germany (not to mention they also perform appraisals all throughout Germany). Needless to say, there has to be someone in the office that either has a connect in Cologne, or has a boutique hotel or little-known apartment rental they can suggest. But leave it to Frankfurt Freddie to try to take it to the next level.

Enter Google Translator (http://www.google.com/language_tools?hl=en).

This handy-dandy website has been a savior for all of the office-wide emails in German that I get over the course of any given day. Now, from the translations that I get back (when going German-to-English), I could tell that the translating application was anything but perfect. But I could at least decipher the nouns and verbs of a given sentence and piece together what was trying to be said. So, I thought, this would be the perfect chance for me to compose a little 2 sentence email in German, via the Google translator. The way I figured it, this would be my little "cute" way of showing the office I was "trying." I knew there would inevitably be errors in the German translation, but in the same way I was able to piece together the broken English spit out by the Google translator, I surmised they'd be able to do the same...if not better. So I wrote my message into the Google translator text box...

"Everyone,

I am planning a trip to Köln for a day or two at the end of December. Might anyone be able to recommend any places to stay during my visit?

Thanks."

and got back...

"Jeder,

Ich plane eine Reise nach Köln für einen Tag oder zwei am Ende des Dezember. Könnte jeder in der Lage, den alle Plätze, zum während meines Besuchs?

Danke."

No more than about 2 minutes after sending the message, I began to hear semblances of giggles from across the room. Then I heard the low-voiced conversings of people in the hallway. About 30 seconds later I heard the first audible lol. Yeah...it wasn't good. I got an email shortly thereafter, "what did you say?" Then I got a couple more sarcastic, "love the German ;-)"'s. To be sure (so the viewers at home know), no one in the office was mad or upset or offended at my email. They just honestly did not know what I was asking. All they knew was that it had something to do with Cologne. The funniest, yet potentially scary, interpretation was when one girl told me that what it might have sounded like I was asking was if anyone in the office was willing to stay with me if I went to Cologne. Yeah, just what I need in my life--to make things any more awkward for the American black guy in the office.

After I told a few people in the immediate vicinity that I used Google Translator, it was brought to my attention that the application does well with word-to-word translations, but fails miserably when it comes to grammar. Although it makes sense, it still came as a surprise because some of Google Translator's English sentences--from my German-to-English translation entries--were grammatically acceptable (at least to the point where I could put together the semblance of the German author's original intent). Apparently, all translations are not created equal...and Google still has quite a way to go before they can consider themselves "fluent" in German.

Once the dust began to settle, I sent a reply to everyone with the American equivalent of what I meant to say and even got a couple helpful responses...I still don't know where I'm going to stay though. Nevertheless, looking to the positive of the situation, it provided a laugh for everyone in the office...and a lesson for me, albeit via public embarrassment...

email in English.

Cheers.